My Africa Trip - 2

5/30/11 1:00AM Kenya Time (3pm PST Time)

We're finally here after 30+ hours of travel. We're under a mosquito net, covered in mosquito repellent, and burning a mosquito repellent incense coil. I somehow already have one bite. It's from the airport, so hopefully by the time whatever disease I'm probably infected with starts causing me to uncontrollably drop my guts into the toilet, the other flying devils will have lost their taste for us.

Katie's dizzy from the sheer amount of poison floating in our quaint hovel and I still can't believe people live like this. We're staying at a YMCA bed & breakfast. On the way here we drove by what looked like a post apocalyptic war zone. Shanty towns were surrounded by 20ft walls made of scrap sheet metal topped with razor wire wrapped around barbed wire. Concrete walls were topped with broken glass shards like shark teeth. Everything about this place looked like it had been built with fear. Probably fear of murder/rape.

From what I could see from the broken road and through the night, many individual apartments made of junk and scrap were smaller than the 11x11ft room we're staying in now. The nicest spots are the gas stations every quarter mile or so. They are relatively clean, bright, shining beacons and they still look like the downtown L.A. mom & pop stations you're probably afraid to leave the car due to increased chance of mugging or murder/rape. When I remember the gallons/litres conversion rate I'll let you know the price of gas, or 'Petrol' here as they call it. (Turns out it was roughly $4.90/gallon depending on the area/station)

When we finally got to the YMCA and honked at the gate, I swear the hooded man approached the car like he was afraid he was going to be shot. I was surprised by the shining teeth of relieved elation as he recognized the tiny Asian woman, Sarah(our contact), calling to him from the passenger side window. Did this man live like this all the time? Every bright set of headlights that comes after dark is a potential murder/rape? If we didn't have Pastor Sarah as our guide, there's no way this trip would ever have happened with our buttholes as relatively intact as they are.

Speaking of murder/rape, I'm pretty sure a gang of howler monkeys are murder/raping some screaming cockatoos right outside our window. The periodic breaks in the shrieking probably means they're eating.

High marks for Brussels Airlines by the way. They didn't have direct TV or anything super fancy, but the extra leg room was so nice that the 10 hour trip flew by like a brisk summer's nap. I'm convinced American Airlines actually hates its passengers. Bin Laden may be dead, but the terrorists have won.

The constant sound of pouring water is making me want to pee but the thought of having to leave the relative safety of the netting and braving the muddy floored bathroom is pushing my stress levels to the point of hives. I seriously feel itchy all over.

Okay, I finally passed out from exhaustion only to have a hard night's sleep. The first time I woke up I was battling demons and sleep paralysis, again. No biggie. The rest of the night was filled with Demigods, harems, generations of epic political scheming in fantastical kingdoms where foe became friend and back again almost constantly. I love these dreams hard. So much so that during a particular struggle with a shark in an underground moat while attempting to assassinate the current prodigal prince, I was madly kicking my legs in the real world. I awoke to a failed mission and a worried Katie. It was around 4AM. She actually woke me up more because she couldn't sleep. Apparently she needs me to be wide awake for her to fall asleep, because she was out almost immediately after. I then proceeded to read for 5 hours until 9 because I magically lost my ability to sleep. Maybe it had something to do with being 10 hours off my clock.

Breakfast was good. Eggs, bread and what tasted like a soy sausage(turns out it was beef), but the "Kenya Tea" was awesome. Best tea I've ever had and it was at an African YMCA. Apparently it's heavily influenced by Indian Chai with milk and sugar in it. I hope to buy some to take home.

After breakfast we walked to where our missionary contact, Sarah, was staying. Sarah walked confidently past the worst living conditions I've ever seen.

All day we prepared for the rest of our trip. Negotiated a bus ride to the Turkana desert, bought some supplies, moved into a place nearer Sarah that's much cheaper, but barely better. There's no hot water. Nairobi is 4000ft above sea level and much colder than I expected for a place so close to the equator. I almost shattered a vertebrae shivering so hard after a shower. I would have taken it while I was still hot from walking from the store carrying the foam mattress I'm laying on now, but I had to make a make-shift shower curtain and splash guard out of trash bags and duct tape, hang string and dry out our new mosquito net.

Our Korean neighbors are very nice. It turns out that they will be among the 14 or so missionaries coming to Turkana. The husband, I believe his name is Steve(Simon actually), used to be a pit boss in Vegas. He became born-again, started a different business that did really well, and now they are full time missionaries. The wife, Anna(Grace actually), made us Korean food. It was delicious and, of course, Katie never tires of food, especially Korean food. They, a few other Koreans, and a few other Kenyan missionaries will be joining us later.

I passed out in the middle of writing this entry around 7pm Kenya time. I barely had the presence of mind to set my alarm before I was dead to the world.